Ordinary Thoughts on Keeping an Orderly House



So just recently a friend of a dear friend start pinning things regarding a weekly cleaning schedule. I have a feeling I must be a slob, because most of this stuff I wouldn’t even think of tackling weekly. I grew up in a house that was often messy, but never dirty, and I like to think I live by the same philosophy. I would rather spend the time I have after my 50ish hour work week with my family actually engaging with them. Sometimes this is getting down on the floor with my little boy and sometimes it’s vegging out in front of an episode of Hell’s Kitchen with my husband. Not that I don’t admire the folks that clean more, it’s just not who I am.

I want to live life! But with all that said, I also realized, especially when I became a mommy, that while everything washes (and if it doesn’t, do you really need it?), I also wanted to create a safe, clean environment for a my child. I didn’t want to constantly worry about what his mouth was making contact with as he learned to crawl or what he might be putting in his mouth that he found around the house.

So, with that in mind, I give you what I consider a more practical, working person’s guide to keeping house in a decent manner (this is assuming that you can’t afford other people to come do it for you or you just don’t prioritize your income that way)

My methodology is simple – do stuff right and you don’t have to do it that often. So, I’m giving you 28 things to do each month. If it’s a month with more than 28 days, you get 3 days to choose your own adventure – you can take them as a bye or you can choose something from the “occasional necessities” list. Or you can be a total stud, knock out a bunch of stuff at once, and then coast a bit (like during VBS week, or camp week, or weddings and funerals week in my experience). And, of course, since your house and my house differ, you might have things to add, delete, or change. This is just something I’m developing to help my household and if it helps you, too, bonus!

Daily Stuff You Can’t Escape

Dishes
Quick Tidy (no tripping hazards, no bug magnets, no underwear where guests might see)
Mail (open it, put it where it goes, recycle as possible)

As Necessary

Laundry
Garbage, Recycling (walk the house, grab it all!)

Monthly Stuff

1. Bathrooms – toilets
2. Bathrooms – tubs, showers
3. Bathrooms – floors, baseboards
4. Bathrooms – countertops, sinks, mirrors
5. Bathrooms – clean out/reorganize cabinet space
6. Bedrooms – dust (presupposes clearing clutter, don’t forget fans), change sheets
7. Bedrooms – vacuum, baseboards
8. Closets – vacuum, tidy up
9. Closets – go through clothes and shoes, retire/donate/rotate
10. Kitchen – floor (sweep/swiffer, mop)
11. Kitchen – sink, countertops (especially random crumb traps), wipe down appliances
12. Kitchen – organize pantry, clean out fridge/freezer
13. Living Room – floor, baseboards
14. Living Room – dust
15. Living Room – put accumulated cluttery things away
16. Laundry Room – sweep, mop
17. Dining Room – clear table, dust/clean
18. Dining Room – vacuum or sweep/mop, baseboards
19. General House – dust light fixtures
20. General House – spot clean carpets, walls, and baseboards
21. General House – clear all horizontal surfaces of clutter
22. Garage – clean out cars
23. Garage – wash cars
24. Garage – sweep, organize
25. Outdoors – mow grass, trim shrubs
26. Outdoors – mow grass, trim shrubs (might wait a couple of weeks from the other)
27. Outdoors – gutters, play equipment
28. Outdoors – intense weeding

Occasional Necessities
Appliance Care – microwave, stove, oven
Appliance Care – washer, dryer
Kitchen – check garbage disposal and related plumbing
Computers – check security software, back up stuff you want to keep, etc.
Storage – go through old boxes, etc. and label/donate

Why I can’t believe everything happens for a reason…

Recently there has been a pile up of grief and sadness in my extended family. Marriages in crisis, impending deaths (yes, plural), relationships fractured, persons feeling lost, hurt, isolated, strained, etc. Being who I am, I am simultaneously a member of the family and the pastor for the family. To me, it’s no different than the lawyer in the family who gives legal counsel for free or the nurse in the family who listens, pokes, and prods to see if someone really needs to go to the doctor. I am a pastor and I might as well put my training to good use whenever and wherever I can, especially for the persons I love most.

So here we are, walking through this valley of the shadow of death (see Psalm 23), and I’m having deep conversations with loved ones – on the phone, in person, via text message and Facebook and e-mail. One of these beloved family members talks about how he deals with all of this is because he knows everything happens for a reason. He shares his experience of another family member who should have died a few times, but didn’t, and here we all are today.

I understand where he’s coming from, but I can’t agree. There are many days when I would like the world to be straight-forward, trusting that God’s purposes are being worked out according to God’s plan. But I just can’t. So I’ll write here, with a little more context, what I shared with my family member.

I just can’t believe that everything happens for a reason. Out of my experience, in my line of work, I get to walk alongside pain and death because those are often the places where people remember they need God the most. So I’ve seen the family that has nearly nothing because the system is broken. I’ve seen the children who have lost their parents because someone else chose to drink and drive. I’ve seen the baby who dies for no known reason. I’ve seen the child, parent, grandparent with cancer. And I can’t – don’t – WON’T believe that this is what God had in mind.

I believe God had in mind an idyllic paradise, something like what’s written in Genesis, a garden where we walked with God and talked with God, where the food was so bountiful that you just had to reach out your hand to take it, and we all lived in harmony – the people and the animals and the earth.

But I also believe that God gave us a generous portion of the imago Dei, and for me that looks like creativity and free will. So we used our free will, we made choices and screwed it up (sorry for not being gentler with that), and now here we all are – daughters and sons many generations removed dealing with the great snowball of corporate sin – the bad decisions and the hurtful actions and all the greater evils of leaving the right things left undone. So no one starts at 0 in life when it comes to good and evil; we all start in negative numbers because we all own this evil that is.

But I also believe that God is working mightily to bring about God’s purpose for creation. I don’t know why God created all this; I only know that the God I come to know through the Spirit as I read scripture is a God who will bear all kinds of pain to be in relationship with us. Jesus tells a story, a parable, about a father who forgives his sons who do all kinds of stupid stuff – one squandering his inheritance and distancing himself from his family, the other failing to really be in relationship even when he’s at home and then refusing to forgive his brother (see Luke 15). The father in the story runs to his son. He runs, rejoicing that there is the opportunity to be in relationship, to love one another again.

So God bears with us in our decision-making, even when it is obviously not what God would want for us. It’s like when my son decides to run full speed down the driveway and I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t fall and split his lip or worse. I imagine God watching all of creation with bated breath, wanting to reach out to steady us, but at times holding back, knowing that we are created imago Dei, we have to make our own choices, our own mistakes, so that we can enter into the love of God of our own free will. That is how it means something.

And when we line up our lives with God’s hope for our lives, it doesn’t mean there won’t be pain and suffering. As Westley says in The Princess Bride, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” Even as good and faithful people, we are still going to be impacted by other people’s bad choices. We get to deal with that, too. But for us, as persons who believe in the love and grace of God through Jesus Christ and stand in the power of the Holy Spirit, we are those who are built on a solid foundation (see Luke 6). The winds come and howl about our ears, the rains come and we sway with the mighty current, the earth trembles and shakes everything we’ve built our life upon, but this one thing, this one relationship, can endure and never disappoint.

I feel all of this because I’m in the boat with my family, too. Even as I struggle to stand apart just a little bit, offering a listening ear, a loving heart, and very little advice, I feel every bit of it. And it’s so much harder, dearer, and awe-full because it is my own family. I tremble, shake, and cry, but keep leaning on the grace of God. While I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, I know God will make the best of it all, working with creation, with each and every one of us, until we are reconciled and made new (see Revelation 21:5). Glory be to God.

Leaving Las Vegas, or Sex and the Pastor

Recently my husband and I took a few days and headed to the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas to celebrate 10 years of marriage. I booked the trip since we take turns planning anniversary celebrations and I have to confess that I was giggling as I thought about the possibility of renewing our vows in a drive thru.

We arrived, picked up a little red Hyundai rental, and opted to drive down the Strip to our hotel to enjoy all the famous neon sights. After checking in, we decided to walk down to the Bellagio to see the fountains which were highly recommended and free. It was a longer walk than we thought and gave us time to see a number of things:

·         people dressed up as creepy, off-brand children’s characters who pose for pictures (for tips)

·         people handing out playing card-sized ads for female escorts

·         scantily dressed women (bachelorettes, bridesmaids, etc.) stumbling down the street

·         very drunk men (bachelors, groomsmen, etc.) stumbling down the street

·         families taking in the sights with their infants, toddlers, and preschoolers

It was the last one that really bothered me. Las Vegas is something to see – a wonderland carved out of the desert with neon, water, steel, concrete, and a lot of performing talent. But it’s not for children. It’s an adult playground, with all the temptations that includes – drinking, gambling, and sex are all available in exchange for money. There’s a lot of smoke in the casinos, there’s a lot of danger in the streets. And I worried every time I saw a child whose parents were trying to take in the sights while exposing them to the same.

Anyway, I’ll get off that soapbox. On the way back, a friendly, off-duty flight attendant sitting near us tried to make small talk with me to take my mind off how my stomach was not being a good flyer. She noticed the book in my hands, a romantic piece of fluff perfect for flying, and she asked about it. I replied, “It’s pretty hot.” She said, “Is it explicit?” “Yes...” And for a moment I think I blushed. I wondered why. Why am I ashamed for reading someone’s imaginative rendering of intimacy between consenting adults?

I am convinced that our embodied existence is a good gift from God. We are dirt creatures, made from dust and God-breath, yet just a little lower than angels. What is it that God is mindful of us? We are indelibly the image of God, yet broken and fallen.

In Las Vegas, my stomach turned as I realized the ways in which women and men are seeking to earn a living. I don’t condemn them, knowing that if there were no demand for it, there would be no supply. And in Las Vegas, it’s just that it’s obvious – the city makes no apology for what it is, incorporating rules and regulations designed to keep persons safer and healthier.

When the Super Bowl came to North Texas, where I live, I was shocked to hear about the underground sex trade that would come with it. This is the sin that lies beneath, secret, taboo, and horrific. As faithful people, we are called to do better – not by passing laws that are simply evaded, but by encouraging one another to hold to higher standards and kicking the legs out from under these trades.

But I continue to wonder why I was embarrassed by my reading material. These were just words on a page, not objectifying a living, breathing child of God. And, in my reflection, I think it’s because discussion of sexuality finds no safe haven in the church. We try not to allow our faith to inform our embodied existence in its totality. We like to tell God, “Ok, you can reign here and here in my life, but not over here - this part is for me.”

As we drove home from Love Field, leaving Las Vegas behind us, my eyes rested as they gazed on the subdued landscape, mostly flat, still paved and developed, but different. Less neon, no showgirls, but still the reality of silence and shame.

So, sisters and brothers, I invite you to find your voice. Speak for those who have been taken captive in the sex trade. Speak to those who have been taken captive by addiction to sex, drugs, alcohol, or pornography. Speak to your brothers and sisters in Christ about how it is we can live faithfully in and through our bodies, enjoying all the good pleasures God has given us in ways that respect the other. It might feel strange, but God has gifted us with so many things, including our bodies and sexuality. Lived out well, it is a great gift indeed.

Clergy are like a box of chocolates…

…you never know what you’re going to get. We were in worship planning today with the new senior pastor who will be coming to our church on July 1, and this is maybe the funniest thing I said. Forrest Gump was on TV the other night, but this comment came after our new SP said something about him being “plug and play.”

I’ve been keeping my head down when it comes to General Conference. It’s a paradox in my mind – there’s so much at stake / there’s so little at stake. How will things that change in that stratosphere of polity really affect the day to day life of ministry and mission that I know best? This is the first General Conference to occur since my ordination last summer, so I thought I would be more engaged, not less.

But in this information age, I feel myself glutted and gagged by the constant influx of information via Facebook, Twitter, and even the weekly United Methodist Reporter that lands in my physical inbox. It’s just so much to process, changing by the second, and all second-/third-/fourth-hand from folks who know more than I do. I feel paralyzed in the land of unknowing, fearful to put a toe in the riptide of legislation.

I broke this relative silence today when I saw a couple of Facebook friends (read: not real friends, not people I would call in the middle of the night with a problem, or even during the day for a ride to the airport – really colleagues, one of whom is being considered to be a bishop…) posting about the guaranteed appointment legislation. Apparently, the more acceptable way to talk about it is in regard to the security of appointment for elders. While this made good sense a few years ago, to keep bishops and cabinets from benching ordained women and persons of color, it is now keeping ineffective clergy shuffling around from church to church, leaving a trail of dysfunction behind them. Or so that seems to be the thought process to one who, admittedly, is not following the news closely.

This morning, legislation was passed that means that ordained elders, who have agreed to go where they are sent by the bishop of their conference (i.e. that they will itinerate), are no longer guaranteed an appointment. Of course, since we are Methodists and still fearful of the human element of divine discernment, there are a couple of checks to balance and affirm the process of putting an elder on transitional leave, approval by the Board of Ordained Minitsry and clergy session of the annual conference.

I don’t know how I feel about all of this. I still wonder how “effectiveness” is measured – “in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure a year in the life?” I wish it could be measured in love. During the last round of annual evaluations, I was teary-eyed as I told my SPRC chair that the best ministry I do is stuff that no one usually sees. And I’d love to tell a story here, but most of it is also held in holy confidence between the parties involved, me, and a loving God.

I guess the worry I have is that we, as clergy, at least as elders, are expected to be “plug and play.” While what we do is deeply relational ministry, at least if you’re doing it right in my mind, you’re supposed to be willing to be uprooted for the sake of the Gospel and bloom in unfamiliar, perhaps even hostile, soil. It’s scary. I’m watching as our current SP untangles his life from the life of our church. It’s not overt and it’s not wrong, but I can see the leaning away as conversations drift to the time in just a few weeks when he will not be playing a part in this family of faith.

A few weeks ago, we met with our new SP for the first time to begin planning worship for his first few Sundays with us. Afterwards, my clergy sisters and I were reflecting on the time together. They have seen senior pastors come and go before, at this church and others. This is new to me. I was baptized at a Wesley Foundation, but didn’t join a local church until 2003. My first appointment was set in 2009 at the church I currently serve. So maybe I was the one struggling to navigate the unfamiliar waters the most as I said it felt like trying to do marriage work when you’re on your first date. Here we were, trying to collaboratively and creatively plan worship that would glorify God even as I realize this relative stranger across the table doesn’t know anything about me. Not that it matters, I guess, but it feels weird all the same.

I was talking to a confirmand today, a 7^th grader who has completed 2 years of study and has come to the point to decide wheter or not she will join our church. We went over the renunciation of sin and confession of faith in the liturgy. I asked her what each section meant, as though she were explaining it to a 3^rd grader, which goes something like this: 1)  Don’t do bad things; 2) God gives us power to not do bad things; and 3) We believe in and follow Jesus, along with anyone else who wants to be a part of the church. We went over the 5 parts of the vows of membership – prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness.

At the end of our time together, I asked her if she had any questions and she thought a long time before asking me when our current SP was leaving. I gave her the date of his last Sunday. She asked me if I knew who our new SP was. I told her his name, his current church, his wife’s name and profession, his kids’ names and the schools they attend. I stopped there, figuring that was probably more than she would remember and less than she wanted.

Then I told her the same story a very wise district superintendent, who is now a bishop, told me. This was the DS I met with the share my call to ministry. He told me that in some churches, the people center around the pastor, which usually doesn’t end well when that pastor is no longer there, for whatever reason. Our church, the United Methodist Church, is structured so that the people (hopefully!) center around God and the pastor circles the outside parameter, encouraging and redirecting.

All I can figure is that clergy exist in paradox. We engage in deeply relational ministry to build the trust necessary for growth in holiness. And yet we must be “plug and play” components, possessing the deep personal reserves to serve a variety of appointments with grace, spreading scriptural holiness across the land. Clergy are as clergy do. I pray we do well, no matter the under/over-lying structure.

Unity with Country, a Lenten Sermon

An introduction, then a sermon…

Our church has Wednesday evening communion services during Advent and Lent. You may recall that we just passed through Lent on our way to Easter. So, prior to that, I got a call from one of our lay leaders who was helping to organize the services, wondering if I would come preach and preside one evening. I checked my calendar and found I was only available on one Wednesday - March 28. She said that sounded great and we put it on our calendars.

Later, I talked with my pastor colleague who is the liaison for these services. She shared that the theme for the series was “Unity.” We’d be hearing about unity with our selves, unity with others, etc. I asked her what I had drawn by virtue of the day. My topic – Unity with Country. So here goes...

Scripture – Luke 20:20-26 (see also Matthew 22:15-22, Mark 12:13-17)

So they watched him (Jesus) and sent spies who pretended to be honest, in order to trap him by what he said, so as to hand him over to the jurisdiction and authority of the governor. So they asked him, "Teacher, we know that you are right in what you say and teach, and you show deference to no one, but teach the way of God in accordance with truth. Is it lawful for us to pay taxes to the emperor, or not?" But he perceived their craftiness and said to them, "Show me a denarius. Whose head and whose title does it bear?" They said, "The emperor's." He said to them, "Then give to the emperor the things that are the emperor's, and to God the things that are God's." And they were not able in the presence of the people to trap him by what he said; and being amazed by his answer, they became silent.

This is a really hard subject for me. How are you supposed to be united with something that is so divided? Now, especially, as 4 Republicans seek a presidential nomination and 1 Democrat seeks re-election, we get to witness just how divided we can become as Americans. How is it that our states hold together? How do California and Mississippi agree to co-exist under one set of laws? How does Texas find common ground with New York except that we share semi-common geography?

I will confess that I don’t enjoy election years. It’s just plain unpleasant. It’s tempting to duck my head down, ignore what’s happening in the stratosphere of politics, and just go about my everyday life. But I know that we have a unique challenge and calling as Americans who find their identity in Christ.

When I first felt called by God to serve in some way, it was through the ministry of a military chaplain. It was right after the war in Afghanistan started and I realized how far from God that could feel, far from friends and family, being asked to do the things you had done in training, but never imagined really doing.

I don’t know why I pursued this form of ministry, except that it was the open door that I could see. Having not seen many women in ministry in the local church, I had a hard time seeing myself as a pastor. So, I served 2 summers as a chaplain candidate, learning about the Air Force, its mission, and how to minister to airmen. It was a powerful experience to see the young men and women who had dedicated their lives to this way of life. And I also knew it wasn’t for me.

I chafed against so many rules. Now, I’m not naïve – I know why they’re there. They need folks to obey because in many circumstances it could be life-saving. But I have a hard time in such an authoritarian structure. I realized I really didn’t like being away from my family for long stretches of time. And I realized that I deeply missed the local church.

I feel like I have a great appreciation for the structure of our country, even with all its very human failings. Even without the butter bars of a second lieutenant on my shoulders, I have a certain amount of power based on nothing I’ve done but be born here. I am an American adult in 2012. That gives me access and voice that most people around the world will never know.

I had a conversation with a First Meal guest this past Sunday. His name is John. He is African-American and an actor who regularly appears at the theatre in town. He was expressing his dissatisfaction with the events surrounding the death of Trayvon Martin. Outside the justice issue at the heart of this, he said, “I get so tired of black people stopping at city hall.”

I heard what he was saying – he was tired of actions that gain media attention for a while, but ultimately do nothing. So I did something that I rarely do – I owned my white-ness. This is something we rarely talk about, but I will tell you now what I told him then – I know I’m white. And I know that that’s not right, but it’s the way it is in this time and place. So I vowed to him as I’ve vowed to God many times - to do whatever I can to work for justice.

When I was at Perkins School of Theology, one of the capstone projects of a seminary education there was writing your credo – your masterpiece of 30 pages or less that sums up your understanding of Christian doctrine. I recall that in my section on God, I focused on 2 attributes among the many available – omnipotent, eternal, omniscient, etc. etc. In my understanding of God, 2 attributes were most real to me – God’s love and God’s justice.

They really are just flipsides of the same thing. God loves us. God loves us all. And unlike human parents who may not be able to help but love one child a shade more or differently than another, God loves us all the same. Which is abounding, outpouring, and free.

But God is also just. God wants us all to have enough. And in our Scriptures we can see those times when God shakes things up for those who have hoarded away too much while denying those who have too little.

In our Scripture reading for today, Jesus neatly sidesteps a clever trap set for him by the religious authorities. He’s made his triumphant entry into Jerusalem and now the Pharisees, the Herodians, or the chief priests and scribes (depending on if you are reading Matthew, Mark, or Luke) are looking for a reason to take him down because he is a threat to their power.

So they’ve created a trap. These spies come with flattery that is actually true – Jesus is right in what he says and teaches. He shows deference to no one, but teaches the way of God in accordance with truth. Literally, the idiom here is that Jesus doesn’t “receive faces” – he makes no distinction between persons. God is loving and God is just.

As it says in Matthew 5 - "You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?”

So Jesus offers them an answer that amazes them, silences them, and (according to Matthew), makes them leave him and go away. Jesus says, “Then give to the emperor the things that are the emperor's, and to God the things that are God's.”

I can’t help but love Jesus a little more at this point. You give the emperor what is the emperor’s and God what is God’s. It begs the question – and what is God’s?

It’s such a wonderful answer because it sidesteps the trap – if he had said you don’t pay taxes he would have been a popular revolutionary of the people and if he had said you do pay taxes, he could have lost his following and looked like a Roman lackey. Instead, he questions our priorities and true allegiances.

We have a unique challenge and calling as Americans who find their identity in Christ. We put on Christ in baptism. That’s why we only use our first and middle names in baptism – our family name becomes Christian.

And as members of the family, we are called to be loving and just. In following this calling, I refuse to be silent or ignore the things outside my ordinary sphere. I’ll pay taxes and serve on a jury and obey the laws, all the while working for change in the things that are not loving or just.

I pray God gives me the strength and courage to speak for the marginalized and oppressed when they are too scared or powerless to speak for themselves. And I pray fervently that there will be day when our country and all others experience God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven – even if it means giving away some of my power and privilege that I enjoy today. Because it’s loving and just.

That’s who we are called to be as God’s sons and daughters. Let us remember who we are and whose we are this Lent and always.

4th grade theology

A couple of weeks ago, I got the children’s ministry newsletter in my inbox. At the top was a desperate plea for teachers. Our children’s ministry does a very cool rotation model for elementary Sunday school. The children learn a story for 6 weeks, reinforced through different ways of engaging – cooking, drama, art, music, etc.

Since I’ve transitioned out of youth ministry, I no longer have a regular commitment during the Sunday school hour, so I e-mailed the children’s ministry coordinator to offer to sub. Sunday before last I had drama with the kindergartners, which was a blast, even though the Scripture we were covering was Peter’s denial of Christ. This week, same curriculum, but 4^th graders were coming to my room.

First, it was a very small class, what with this Sunday being at the beginning of spring break. No problem, I decided to myself that rather than break into two groups to act out pieces of Scripture, we’d do it all together. But my good intentions never came about.

In the midst of decorating crosses and drawing ocean scenes for a VBS t-shirt contest, some deep questions started to come out.

·         Why do we have a cross for Jesus? Isn’t that where he died? It doesn’t seem right.

·         Where is the devil? I heard someone say he’s in the middle of the earth since it’s hot down there.

·         Isn’t the devil a bad angel?

·         If someone doesn’t believe in God, but never does bad things, do they go to the devil?

·         Why do people think God is a boy?

I tried to take them as they came, seriously but in terms understandable for their age and stage. Here are my efforts (with their help in parentheses):

Why do we have a cross for Jesus? Isn’t that where he died? It doesn’t seem right.

I’ve wondered why we have a cross for Jesus, too. But here’s the thing, is Jesus still on the cross? (No) That reminds us how even death can’t stop God. Jesus died on the cross, which is a very painful death, and was buried in a tomb. But 3 days later – BOOM! – the rock rolled aside and Jesus was alive again, he was resurrected. And then he was seen by his disciples and taught them some more things before going back to God.

Where is the devil? I heard someone say he’s in the middle of the earth since it’s hot down there.

I think it’s hard to put a specific location on spiritual things. We tend to think heaven is up and hell is down, but our spaceships have never bumped into heaven. I think spiritual things work differently. I also think this is important when some people say hell is in the earth – who made the earth? (God!) That’s right. And what did God say after God had made everything? (It was good.) That’s right, too. So everything that is created, from you and me to the horse to the earth, starts out very, very good. So it would be weird to me to think that hell is somewhere inside the earth.

Isn’t the devil a bad angel?

From what I can remember this morning, there’s really not very much about the devil in our Bible. There’s much more in there about God and us and how we’re supposed to be in relationship. Some people have written a lot of other stories about the devil, since people always wonder about how things work, why bad things happen, etc. But one of the places I remember that is about the devil is in Job, when the hasatan, or the tester – someone who tests you, goes to God to talk about Job. Hasatan is a title, a role, but it is also where we get the word Satan. The hasatan’s job is to test people. So he asks God to test Job, to see if Job would still be faithful to God if he didn’t have his wife and children and camels, in other words, if he didn’t have everything a person could want. But that is a hard book, so let’s talk about that more later.

If someone doesn’t believe in God, but never does bad things, do they go to the devil?

Well, we all do some bad things, but you mean they haven’t killed anyone, they don’t steal – they’re not any better or worse than most of us. I get that. So there are lots of different thoughts on these things, but here is what Pastor Jessica thinks – I know God loves us. God loves us a lot. God wants to be in a relationship with us. And I can’t imagine God ever turning away from us or sending us somewhere away from God. It’s good to believe in God because it lets you enjoy a little bit of heaven now – you can have joy, peace, love, and incredible strength and comfort from knowing that God is with you. If you don’t believe in God, the world can be a lot scarier.

But if you don’t believe in God, I think when you die you go to work all that out with God. And, of course, you can keep choosing not to believe in God, which I think is what hell is like. Just because you choose not to believe in God, doesn’t mean God is not there. It’s like closing your eyes. Just because you can’t see the light, doesn’t mean it’s not there. But a lot of these things are a mystery. I don’t know exactly how they work, but I know that God does.

Why do people think God is a boy?

That is a good question! Back in the day, back in Bible times, who were really powerful people? (…pause…kings?) Right! Kings had lots of power and they were boys. Every once in a while there was a queen, but most of the time it was a king. Physically, boys are built to be stronger, so they were the ones who could get their way and make themselves the bosses. People wanted a strong king so he could protect the people from other people. So when they talked about God, it was natural to talk about God as a mighty king.

But there are also other images for God. God is described like a mother hen gathering her chicks under her wings. And there’s also this part in our Bible

Then God said, 'Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.' So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26-27)

So, what does God look like? (…pause…like Jesus?) Yes, but who else…it says “male and female he created them.” (So, God looks like me? says a girl) Yes, we all look like God. All people are made to look like God. (God has a wife?) No, God doesn’t have a wife. God made us to look like God, boys and girls. (I don’t think God is a boy or a girl.) I think God is probably beyond things like that, too, but God is very creative and made us all a little different, but we all look like God. It may not be what we look like on the outside that’s most important, but how we love others that makes us look most like God.


By the end of the hour, we hadn't done very much of what I had planned. And it was completely and entirely good. I thanked the children for their questions and encouraged them to keep asking. I let them know that many times adults stop asking questions because they think they're supposed to have the answers already, which doesn't feel good. I was amazed and humbled by the children's good questions and willingness to dig around to uncover more about God. It was such a good morning. What a gift for a pastor to be a substitute elementary Sunday school teacher!

Realizing you're there

I always have goals for my life – a metaphorical there to reach. Usually the details are not too specific, but the overall destination is important, for example finishing college (while not passionate about any particular major), getting a good job (that I really liked, hopefully), getting and staying married, continuing to learn (many things!), becoming a mom, etc. While I do like being in control of things, I’m also not a very disciplined person, so I tend to try to head fearlessly in the direction of my dreams, flying by the seat of my procrastinating pants most of the time.

And I’m always looking to the trailblazers. Growing up, I’d never seen a clergywoman, so I never imagined myself where I am now. But when we moved to Texas and I got a job as a secretary at a United Methodist church, I saw clergywomen doing what God called them to do. And I was inspired! Perhaps you could be a wife, mom, amazing woman and pastor. I was finally able to see what God had intended where before I had been blind to the opportunity.

In the ordination process, a whole new set of destinations were created for me – inquiring, exploring, declared and certified candidate (I know I’m dating myself here), seminary admission, completion, and graduation (preferably with some sort of honors), commissioning and ordination amidst the topsy-turvy process in itself of appointments. So I set out for there.

Sometime in seminary, a friend invited me to the clergywomen’s group that met for lunch. It was so amazing to see all these women, varied and beautiful and wise, who had all made it there. They talked about appointments, General Conference, the history of women in ministry in our conference. They reflected on holding the hands of the dying, the baby being baptized, and the Bible as they preached. They were amazing and I was grateful for these embodied glimpses of there.

So, as I posted earlier, I was recently at another one of these clergywomen’s lunches. I was running a bit late and as I entered, juggling a fast food lunch and drink and purse while fumbling with the door knob, I looked for those familiar wise and gracious faces. I saw them, but it was different – well, there were my friends and compatriots from seminary – and over there was the pastor from the church nearby who organizes local clergy get-togethers – but I was missing the women I had seen when I first came to these lunches. Where were the women who were there?

We went around the tables, introducing ourselves, and as we applauded those who had just been passed for commissioning and ordination, my mind startled in realization. I was there! Could it really be? I took stock – yup, I’m an honest-to-goodness elder in full connection doing hands-on ministry that’s a blessing and a challenge each and every day. Oh, and I’m actually serving on the clergywomen’s leadership team. I’m there. When did that happen?

The night I was ordained, the bishop laid hands on my head, praying the Spirit’s blessing on me, as I knelt in heels and my clergy robe, and then had a stole draped over my shoulders my two of the pastors I admire most as my mother and husband stood nearby. I smiled and talked with my friends afterwards, then drove home to change into my pajamas, wash the dishes, and go to bed, ready for another day of conference business the next day. It’s not as glamorous as what some of my friends did, so maybe I need to be better about celebrating it when I get there. But, honestly, there doesn’t look all that different once you’re there. It’s just another day to love life and live it fully.