It certainly doesn’t do anything for women’s equality since
most ladies see it as an excuse to get away with wearing as little as possible
and calling it a costume. I’m not throwing stones; I owned pleather pants and
corsets at one point in my life. And I know it didn’t help anyone see me as a
smart, strong, capable woman.
It certainly doesn’t do anything for our selfish American tendencies
or our national bent toward obesity. Lots of folks have lamented the folks who
came to their door with a sense of entitlement, whether it’s teens without
costumes expecting candy in their pillow cases or the family that asks for water
and then fusses that they each didn’t get a bottle.
It certainly doesn’t bring out our best selves, for the most
part. Halloween is a holiday that glorifies fear and gore. Maybe I’m extra fussy because
I don’t like being scared. I don’t like scary movies (although I have seen more
than my share since I do like having friends). It really did bother me that one
of my neighbors had skulls on stakes in their yard as well as a gravestone with
a skeleton resting in the dust. Ugh.
I was wrestling with this since my mom loves Halloween and always has for as long as I can remember. She
keeps a stuffed leg, knee to shoe, around all year long so that in the weeks
prior to Halloween, she can dangle it from her trunk. And since I love my mom and
she loves Halloween, there must be something redeeming about it.
So I kept my eyes open this Halloween. I saw lots of new
things, especially since my son is old enough to be exploring this holiday on
his own for the first time. We went to the fall festival at the church, which I
know is a safe and secure place, but he was scared of many of the people in
costume. Not that they were “scary” costumes, but they obscured the people he
may have otherwise recognized. Oh, I had forgotten that. And asking for candy,
receiving it, but not eating it didn’t come naturally to him. Some sense of
entitlement is a learned behavior, in the same way we teach children not to
play with the gifts they open on birthdays or Christmas, but to set them aside
and eagerly open more and more.
But, finally, on the way home, I saw one good thing that comes out of
Halloween. My neighbors were out of their houses, sitting in lawn chairs
waiting for trick-or-treaters or moving with their families up and down the sidewalks.
And porch lights were on, more than I've ever seen, lighting the way to a welcoming house. Wow. It was
stunning to see this kind of warmth and hospitality. My neighborhood is fairly
new, so there are no front porches. Most days, most of my neighbors and I never
set foot outside, let alone linger there, beyond checking the mail (and some
even do that from their cars).
I’m outside more nowadays because I want James to play out there.
And I delight in how he finds so much to do with leaves, acorns, and other free
toys. So I see my neighbors arrive home in the evenings, open their garage
doors, pull inside, and close the door behind them. It’s sad. There’s not much
that feels neighborly for most neighbors, and I have a feeling I’m not alone.
But on Halloween, we have an excuse to break our well-worn
habits, put on silly costumes, and act like neighbors. Thanks be to God.
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