Stump the Pastor

Our church has a Midweek Miracle each week. It’s our LOGOS program, which offers a variety of activities – crafts, games, stories, dinner – for children and youth for a nominal fee. As a part of LOGOS, I have about 45 minutes with the youth every Wednesday. The previous senior pastor used this time to work on worship leadership skills and rehearse plays with them, but I’m trying a few different things to see what feels best. After all, every time you get together with 15-20 middle and high school students, it’s a different adventure.

We've gone outside to play, despite freezing temperatures, because students this age miss the time to just be, without structure or expectation, and to rejoice in the strength and abilities of their bodies. We've done a guided meditation, which was old hat for some of the senior high students, but a novel experience for many of the middle schoolers. Slowing down, getting in touch with your body, and moving your mind and spirit into an encounter with God is a healthy practice to try. I was delighted when one student showed up late that time and another said, “Ah, man, you missed the fun part!”

Most recently, we played “Stump the Pastor.” I enjoy this tremendously since I want to be open and honest with my church. Honestly, it’s probably not that hard to stump me since I would be the first to say I don’t know everything. But with my trusty friend, Google, and a week’s notice in the form of index cards that the youth wrote their questions on, I was ready to go! So, here’s a sample of the questions that were asked and my responses.

What is rat poison made of? This was definitely a question for Google, since I’m no pest control expert. According to the online expert, most rat poison is made from warfarin, an anticoagulant, or blood thinner, which is also used as a medication for some people. Cyanide is also used in some rat poisons.

Have you ever had a hamster? No to the hamster, but I could tell you a funny story about how I agreed to take care of the class pets over a school holiday break when I was in 1^st grade. The pets just happened to be a pair of rats. My mom was not thrilled.

When is anything too much? As Methodists, we’re great believers in moderation. We tend to follow the via media, the middle road, which was a great trend of thought out of the Protestant Reformation, particularly in the Anglican Church, to which we can trace our denominational roots. However, we also recognize that there are times when even a little bit can be too much, such as alcohol at the Lord’s Table for those who struggle with addiction. That is why we use the unfermented juice of the grape, i.e. grape juice.

Why do I matter? You were created by God. You are precious and beloved. Even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes, if things here are rough, God loves you so much that God would die to save you. Psalm 8 says it this way, "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have established; what are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them? Yet you have made them a little lower than God, and crowned them with glory and honor. You have given them dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under their feet."

How are babies made? Oh, goodness. Dear parents, if you haven’t had this talk yet with your child, please do! Otherwise, send them to the theologically grounded but anatomically accurate workshop our church will be hosting soon.

Why do we need to eat? Our bodies need fuel - calories, nutrients, vitamins, etc. - to keep us healthy and strong. Do you know what a calorie is? (Something that makes you fat!) No, not necessarily. A calorie is a measure of energy - like volts. And your body needs energy, so you need a certain number of calories each day. It's when we take in a lot more energy than we use that we have trouble. 

Why do people think God is a man? Back in Bible times the most powerful people tended to be kings, so when they talked about God, it was natural to talk about God as a mighty king. But there are other was of describing God. Jesus describes himself like a mother hen who longs to gather her chicks under her wings (Matthew 23, Luke 13). I also like to read this section from Genesis 1: “Then God said, 'Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness…So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

So are all made imago Dei, as in we all look like God, whether we’re male or female, tall or short, young or old. And while, ultimately, I believe God is beyond gender, God also contains the creativity and limitless possibility to know what life is like for all of us. It may not be what we look like on the outside that’s most important, but how we love others that makes us look most like God. 

If you could live anywhere, where would you like to live? Anywhere would be fine with me as long as I was with my family and near my friends. I only have one of those right now, and it's ok, but I'd love to have both.

What are your thoughts on tattoos? Here are some very practical things to consider: 1) it's permanent - even if you get it "removed" the skin will never be the same as it was before; 2) be very careful what you choose to put on your body and where, especially considering a future career; 3) be mindful of gravity and the effects of gaining or losing weight on body art. With all that said, I think tattoos are a unique and often beautiful way of expressing yourself. And it gives others the opportunity to know or ask about your story that they may not have otherwise.

Have you ever had a bad hair day? Umm...are you looking at me? Of course! 

They had a lot more questions and I do, too. When have you been stumped? Do you have a place to ask your questions? 

4th grade theology

A couple of weeks ago, I got the children’s ministry newsletter in my inbox. At the top was a desperate plea for teachers. Our children’s ministry does a very cool rotation model for elementary Sunday school. The children learn a story for 6 weeks, reinforced through different ways of engaging – cooking, drama, art, music, etc.

Since I’ve transitioned out of youth ministry, I no longer have a regular commitment during the Sunday school hour, so I e-mailed the children’s ministry coordinator to offer to sub. Sunday before last I had drama with the kindergartners, which was a blast, even though the Scripture we were covering was Peter’s denial of Christ. This week, same curriculum, but 4^th graders were coming to my room.

First, it was a very small class, what with this Sunday being at the beginning of spring break. No problem, I decided to myself that rather than break into two groups to act out pieces of Scripture, we’d do it all together. But my good intentions never came about.

In the midst of decorating crosses and drawing ocean scenes for a VBS t-shirt contest, some deep questions started to come out.

·         Why do we have a cross for Jesus? Isn’t that where he died? It doesn’t seem right.

·         Where is the devil? I heard someone say he’s in the middle of the earth since it’s hot down there.

·         Isn’t the devil a bad angel?

·         If someone doesn’t believe in God, but never does bad things, do they go to the devil?

·         Why do people think God is a boy?

I tried to take them as they came, seriously but in terms understandable for their age and stage. Here are my efforts (with their help in parentheses):

Why do we have a cross for Jesus? Isn’t that where he died? It doesn’t seem right.

I’ve wondered why we have a cross for Jesus, too. But here’s the thing, is Jesus still on the cross? (No) That reminds us how even death can’t stop God. Jesus died on the cross, which is a very painful death, and was buried in a tomb. But 3 days later – BOOM! – the rock rolled aside and Jesus was alive again, he was resurrected. And then he was seen by his disciples and taught them some more things before going back to God.

Where is the devil? I heard someone say he’s in the middle of the earth since it’s hot down there.

I think it’s hard to put a specific location on spiritual things. We tend to think heaven is up and hell is down, but our spaceships have never bumped into heaven. I think spiritual things work differently. I also think this is important when some people say hell is in the earth – who made the earth? (God!) That’s right. And what did God say after God had made everything? (It was good.) That’s right, too. So everything that is created, from you and me to the horse to the earth, starts out very, very good. So it would be weird to me to think that hell is somewhere inside the earth.

Isn’t the devil a bad angel?

From what I can remember this morning, there’s really not very much about the devil in our Bible. There’s much more in there about God and us and how we’re supposed to be in relationship. Some people have written a lot of other stories about the devil, since people always wonder about how things work, why bad things happen, etc. But one of the places I remember that is about the devil is in Job, when the hasatan, or the tester – someone who tests you, goes to God to talk about Job. Hasatan is a title, a role, but it is also where we get the word Satan. The hasatan’s job is to test people. So he asks God to test Job, to see if Job would still be faithful to God if he didn’t have his wife and children and camels, in other words, if he didn’t have everything a person could want. But that is a hard book, so let’s talk about that more later.

If someone doesn’t believe in God, but never does bad things, do they go to the devil?

Well, we all do some bad things, but you mean they haven’t killed anyone, they don’t steal – they’re not any better or worse than most of us. I get that. So there are lots of different thoughts on these things, but here is what Pastor Jessica thinks – I know God loves us. God loves us a lot. God wants to be in a relationship with us. And I can’t imagine God ever turning away from us or sending us somewhere away from God. It’s good to believe in God because it lets you enjoy a little bit of heaven now – you can have joy, peace, love, and incredible strength and comfort from knowing that God is with you. If you don’t believe in God, the world can be a lot scarier.

But if you don’t believe in God, I think when you die you go to work all that out with God. And, of course, you can keep choosing not to believe in God, which I think is what hell is like. Just because you choose not to believe in God, doesn’t mean God is not there. It’s like closing your eyes. Just because you can’t see the light, doesn’t mean it’s not there. But a lot of these things are a mystery. I don’t know exactly how they work, but I know that God does.

Why do people think God is a boy?

That is a good question! Back in the day, back in Bible times, who were really powerful people? (…pause…kings?) Right! Kings had lots of power and they were boys. Every once in a while there was a queen, but most of the time it was a king. Physically, boys are built to be stronger, so they were the ones who could get their way and make themselves the bosses. People wanted a strong king so he could protect the people from other people. So when they talked about God, it was natural to talk about God as a mighty king.

But there are also other images for God. God is described like a mother hen gathering her chicks under her wings. And there’s also this part in our Bible

Then God said, 'Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.' So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26-27)

So, what does God look like? (…pause…like Jesus?) Yes, but who else…it says “male and female he created them.” (So, God looks like me? says a girl) Yes, we all look like God. All people are made to look like God. (God has a wife?) No, God doesn’t have a wife. God made us to look like God, boys and girls. (I don’t think God is a boy or a girl.) I think God is probably beyond things like that, too, but God is very creative and made us all a little different, but we all look like God. It may not be what we look like on the outside that’s most important, but how we love others that makes us look most like God.


By the end of the hour, we hadn't done very much of what I had planned. And it was completely and entirely good. I thanked the children for their questions and encouraged them to keep asking. I let them know that many times adults stop asking questions because they think they're supposed to have the answers already, which doesn't feel good. I was amazed and humbled by the children's good questions and willingness to dig around to uncover more about God. It was such a good morning. What a gift for a pastor to be a substitute elementary Sunday school teacher!